Every human being in this world is striving for his/her existence. Fighting with odds, trying to prove him/herself. Among those, there is a person who is doing same but in slightly different style while Touching & Improving Life of people around him. That's me & you can know more in my this beautiful world-Garry!'s BLOG!
As per theory of Freedom to choose (Steven Covey has talked in detail about it in his books of Seven habits), there are two types of people that live in this world. One those
who always crib & believe that whatever happens to them are due to some
other person or other factors like Grahas, some dashas or someone has done
something wrong to them etc. Their existence is because of others. They do not
have freedom to choose. Others decide for them. They are the one who always
seek for excuses for things not happening. They can turn a good day into bad ones. What happens with these people is that they never feel independent. They
can never get out of negative spiral as they believe that they are not
governing the factors affecting them. Hence, they approach to Jyotishies
(Astrologers), Pandits, Babas or Tantriks.
Courtesy: Frankiejohn.com
On the other hand, second types of people are those who
believe that whatever happens to them is due to them. Their existence is
because of themselves. They are accountable for their choices to drive their life. They have got freedom to choose
how their life will be today, this moment & future as well. They are
independent & always look stay conscious at each moment when they have to
choose their actions & behavior so that they can drive a positive vibes,
environment around them. They lead the change around them. They know if things
are happening good, it is because they have taken a good choice & if not so
good, it’s still because of their own choices.
Courtesy: Flickr.com
I personally believe in the later theory. How about you? Pls
recall your reaction when things go wrong, how did you react to them? Did you
complaint or take responsibility on your own? Though it’s a very simple theory
in words but very powerful to internalize & incorporate in your behavior, in your daily actions.
This year was quite fast for our family. It feels like just
yesterday it started but when we look back to the year there is lot in our
memories that is worth capturing.
As some of you might know, we moved back to
India from Beijing in Oct 2012 as Pitaji (my father) was not doing good.
He had been
On & Off hospitalized for almost 2 years, operated twice – for prostrate
& gall bladder for doubt of malignancy/tumor. His Hemoglobin went below 6
& was continuously suffering from high fever caused by Urine infection (UTI),
later developed to Renal Tuberculosis. When it comes to family, you clearly understand
your priorities & I am glad to be blessed with such a life partner who
initiated this thought of returning back to India as our parents needed us.
With all those struggle & great support from my company, we landed back in
India. I was posted in Bhopal (Madhya Pradesh) – Central India. Not that far
from Delhi (my home town) – overnight travel. After joining here, we requested
my parents to move along with us to Bhopal so that we can better take care of
them & they would too get a change. So, almost Oct – Feb 2013 went into relocation
& settling into new place and getting to know hospitals and Play school in
Bhopal. Amid this, New Year 2013 started.
Though Pitaji moved with us but his fever was still
continuing. We visited 7-8 known Nephrologist. One doctor even said he
is in very critical situation.. suffering from E-coli bacteria and to cure it we
have to admit him & get the 21 days course (medication via drip) to
completely kill the bacteria. Medication is very tough & it will further
reduce his health as it will crunch his all intestines. I never ever thought
that a bacteria could be so dangerous. When I talked to doctor separately, he
said it’s a critical situation & we cannot guarantee his full recovery. Being
emotionally chocked we initiated everything, even booked room as well. Then suddenly I recalled
that I read about another Nephrologist on Internet. I asked doctor, can we have
second opinion & he said why not (in a bit angry tone). I quickly took the
appointment with other doctor & went to their hospital. This was Samarpan
hospital (http://samarpanhospital.org/index.html)
run by Dr. Gopesh Modi.
Courtesy: Samarpan hospital website
Entering into hospital gave quite positive vibes. All
positive thoughts around. Lots of testimonials by patients & staff for
doctor. We waited and when our turn came, Doctor greeted us very
nicely & later heard us quite patiently. Tried to skim through Dad’s
medical record over last 2 years. He was surprised to see such a big bundle of
file & medications he was taking. He said – “Uncle! Can you leave your
medical record with me. I want to get to details of your case. Lets meet up
after 2 days. For the time being, I am stopping all your medication.” I said – “What?”.
He repeated – “I am stopping all your medications except your normal once for diabetes
& BP. Lets watch day by day.. when you have fever, just simply take
Paracetamol.. record your fever every 3-4 hours. Lets define course of your
medication there after. And importantly, (looking into his eyes) Don’t worry at
all. I assure you, you will be all right very soon! (with a big smile)”. I was
confused should we go back to same doctor who said he is critical or try with
this new one who has stopped all medications. And the end his talks & ambiance gave us some positivity. We went
back home & returned after two days. Dr. Modi actually studied our report
to details & said “Uncle! I don’t trust your diagnosis & treatment 100%. If
you will allow me, I want to have your fresh tests done & then define your
medications. In the mean while just stay with your basic medications. If you
happen to have questions, text me or email me, I will revert to you. Or come to
hospital if any emergency.” After all testing he further said – “I don’t believe
you happen to have renal tuberculosis. Yes! You have E-coli bacteria but every
body has it. Even we too. Its just because your immune system is week it is
hijacking your body & getting you high fever. So, lets continue paracetamol
when you have fever & start building your Immune system. Again no more
additional medications”.
Courtesy: Samarpan hospital website
It was all good news for us. Now, I could understand why
those messages are spread all around in hospital. His style of treatment is not
alone by medication but more with emotional power booster, Enhancement of
individuals psychology.
Slowly Pitaji started recovering. Fever still used to come
but less often than before. Steadily through out 2013 I saw a tremendous
improvement in his health & confidence towards life. All thanks to Dr. Modi.
May God bless him & he keep serving more people with same generosity &
empathy while spreading those positive vibes in society.
Now, Pitaji is not only independent in most of activities but assisting me a lot. He can drive, take Aadi to school, bring milk & vegetables for home to name a few. I believe factors that worked for Pitaji to get well are – (1) Dr. Modi’s
treatment, advices which triggered a confidence that he is alright. He just
need to live a watchful & planned Normal life, (2) Staying more in home vs.
hospital, (3) spending time with Aadi (grandson) & Anu, (4) he created his
own network around in society – retired group, and (5) last but not least,
Bhopal – natural & calm place vs. Delhi. Greenery all around, river beside
our society, fresh air (not polluted) and Sunlight throughout day.
Pitaji taking Aadi to School
Maa (Mother) also get
into a routine.
It was a big life changer for Maa too. She was also going
through a tough time. All alone when pitaji was hospitalized in Delhi. Imagine, when
someone is well but still, he/she have to spend days, weeks in hospital
because of her loved one is there & no one at home to go back. This was her situation till we moved to Bhopal. After getting to Bhopal, she said “Now you are
back! Take care of your father. I am tension free now! J”. On one side move to Bhopal
improved Dad’s health which give an emotional boost to Maa too but importantly,
she got into a routine & activities. She had created a big network of women
around in society too – interestingly all age groups.
Maa playing horse for Aadi.
Her days used to be like
this – (1) go for walk early in the morning with her few women, (2) Go for
dance class in afternoon, (3) go to different house as “Bhajan Mandali” (sacred
song singing troup) – especially during Navratras, and (4) last but not least,
go for Kirtan/Bhajan in Temple (I missed this earlier) in our society in night
(another gang of ladies). That routine has broken for last few months as she
has to manage home since Anu was pregnant & now, she is Grand Maa of two. Soon,
she should get back to her routine.
Anu – settled &
happy in bhopal
Looking at her each time, I realize the meaning of word “Better
half”. Since I moved to new role in Bhopal, I had to manage & get to speed
on work side as well. So, she took the lead & managed lot of things
especially taking Pitaji to hospital once every two weeks later a month. If I am
traveling due to work, manage complete home when Pitaji was not well. She is not
considering to restart her career, rather, prefers to spend time as home maker
to take care of Maa - Pitaji and two kids. Because of her, I can easily focus
on my work.
We have been long discussing whether to plan for second
child or not. I was “For” it & she was “against” while we were in Beijing.
After spending few months in India, she felt probably she is OK now. And then
one day when I was in Japan, she called me up & gave me this good news – “we
were expecting second Child due in Nov’13”. J
This time, her first trimester was not that difficult as
with Aadi’s time. Due to which she could attend & enjoy two weddings at her
parents place- (1) her sister, Neha (weds Nikhil) and (2) cousin, Apoorva (weds
Pooja).
She got into complications around September end due to which doctor
suggested her complete bed rest to avoid Pre-mature delivery. Since then we
counted days by small milestones.. like Dusshera.. Karwa Chauth.. Weekends..
Diwali.. Bhai dooj.. and visiting doctor every week. Then, once last festival was
over & baby also completed 37 weeks, we said, now its OK to let her come
into this world anytime when God wants. Almighty God blessed us with our angel –
“Bhavya (Aadya)” just within 4 days after Diwali .. Within Diwali festive week –
On Nov 7. J
It was a normal delivery & within half an hour she was in my hands. Now,
its been close to 2 months, both mother & daughter are doing good.
Blessed with Little Angel on Nov 7, 2013
I see my family as "Self sustained support system" now. In my
absence, Pitaji is helping & takes lead when Anu is not well. Anu leads
when Pitaji is not well. Maa & Anu takes care of home. Aadi – Aadya remains entertainer
& energizer for three of them. They both keep them completely busy &
occupied.
Aadi – Getting to socialize..
Probably our move to India would have been toughest to someone
who don’t know how to express himself in words completely & is dependent on
us, i.e., Aadi. Since we had a plan to live in Beijing for a while, we planned
things accordingly for Aadi. We bought all hindi story books & rhymes CDs
from India and we used to also talk to him in Hindi only as we thought he will be
exposed to English by default when he will start interacting to people outside as that’s
the only language he would see his friends talking in play group soon. After 2
years of his age, we returned to India. He was learning to get Hindi but no English.
Now in India, Situation is opposite. Here, he is more & more exposed to Hindi. Our theory is failing
here. We now wants him to learn English.. getting him English books, stories,
rhymes.. trying to talk to him in English.. but at times I feel its too much to
expect from a 3 year old toddler.
Other challenge for him, since he was brought up for two years
staying alone with her Mumma at home. His socializing skills still need to be worked on. So when
we returned to India, he was finding himself in difficult situation. He is
shying away from people. Just sticking to Mumma. He used to cry for her if she
is away from his sight even for few minutes. If we are going to play ground or
to others home or even someone coming to our home including kids of his age..
he will be just sitting on Mumma’s lap. It was a difficult time for him.
So, we decided to get him to playgroup, somewhere close by
so that if he is not in control Anu can easily go & pick him up. We explored few options & then signed up
for “Sprouts”.
Aadi's School
We were afraid how he will react to this big change.. staying
away from not only Mumma but all in family for few hours however school principal
convinced us that it will be just for few days & then he will be used to
this. Same happened..
He grew up from Crying at home itself.. then crying at school gate.. then crying in class…to settling down. From finding himself alone.. to getting to know
care-takers .. to being favorite of teachers. From sitting quite in class ... .. to shouting
rhymes loudly in class that teacher has to stop him. J Even more, he was awarded
“Star of the month” in September.
Still a long journey to go for him & I am sure he will
be able to learn things faster. In few months he will be Preschooler getting to
Nursery class.
Self - Settled.. Connected
& Growing..
Starting new year, we had family day in our office so, I took
my family. It was a good experience for them. Just after that I had quite a lot
of travel till early September this year.
I got opportunity to meet old friends & alumni at IIP Annual General Meeting. Same week, I realized my batch has
completed 5+ years, so we organized a Re-union of our batch (in hostel) which
also had a good turn-around. We connected with friends those who are outside
India using Skype. We remembered old days of hostel life & then had some
chit-chat with current batch students.
I was selected as Mumbai Chapter core team member where we
have to do few activities for Mumbai chapter including IIP, students &
fellow members. We chartered teams including students & empowered them to
bring ideas & execution steps. While I used to go to Mumbai, they used to get engaged but due to distances & extensive travel, progress couldn’t work out
well.
Further continued my travel to... Hyderabad, Mumbai,
Pune, Bhopal, Japan, Bangkok, Hyderabad, Delhi, Bhopal, Pune, Singapore, Delhi,
Bhopal & finally last trip of the year to Germany.
In between, I heard that my Engineering batch mates are also planning
a Re-union after 8 years. I got excited & similar was the response from
most of us. I just booked my tickets for the tentative dates. Later on most of
them started to drop out but some of us who were actually keen for this, said we
will stick to even if few folks joins. So, finally 6 of us
started our journey from Delhi to Jim Corbett National Park. J
Courtesy: Kuldeep Rathee - @ Jim Corbett National Park with Engineering friends
It was all raining
through the road & even drizzling intermittently in Jim Corbett. First day
we had so many things to talk about. We chatted whole night sitting by pool
side, recalling old days (obvious topics). We discussed about each one of our batch mates
recalling by roll numbers. I must appreciate Ramesh (one of my friend) had a
really good memory in remembering people’s name. Then, Second day we went to Jungle Safari which was a great experience on its own.. in an open Jeep inside Jungle.
Lastly, we spent almost 6-7 hours inside pool playing & doing all kind of
masti including trying to jump weirdest possible. That’s how we concluded our trip & returned to our homes. I wish we could do such Re-unions more often.
September onwards, rest of the year went taking care of Anu & planning for Aadya's welcome. :)
When I look back all this, I feel so satisfied & accomplished that our decision to move back to India is so meaningful & worthy vs. what we left over.
To conclude the year,
here are some memories of the year..
Not sure, if everyone already know or dont know about the power of Feedback but over last 1 year, i have experienced great power behind it. Especially while receiving. It could be of either positive or negative* types. (*I wont talk much about negative feedback here) If its positive, its a kind of recognition for what you have been doing for/with others. Generally, we have tendency to understand that its from your boss. Buts thats just a mere chunk of bigger pie. It could come from your peers, friends, sub-ordinates, working partners, stake holders, family members, relatives or even unknown people. And this positive feedback could be either in form of actual recognition award but again that's just a piece of big picture. It could be over phone, 1:1 chat, email (sent to you directly or copied to your manager or his manager, or copied to bigger community). It will generally start with "Thanks!". Don't underestimate this thanks with normal thanks that people tends to say on & off but this one is real from bottom of someone's heart & you will recognize that. This is what i call, "Touching & Improving life (TIL)". This concept of TIL has come across to me as a very powerful self inspiration. It triggers you, boosts you on doing more of those good things that you have been doing. Especially you get sunk with positive feedback when its unexpected TIL. You just did something as your normal behavior (without expecting anything in return) & then you get recognized. This experience of getting positive feedback with thanks to someone & explaining them how they did TIL with you, really gives a immense accomplishment feeling. I believe every human being on earth is being created to TIL others. And when they get to know it, its Stupendously fantastic experience. I highly encourage everyone to do that. Just ask a simple question to yourself- Daily, weekly, Monthly (inspired by P&G)- "Whose actions has TIL you today?" & make sure to take time out to feedback them with Thanks & their TIL behavior. Good luck! Garry!GM
Namaskaar! Writing after long break so you may not find it that connecting as it used to be earlier. Apologies for same! I am realizing this great tool as one of the Characteristic Archive book of an individual which keeps on updating with time & experience (personal + professional). Taking my own example, since the time i wrote my first few blogs, i had seen lot many changes in my professional as well as personal life which has given me opportunity to look at life in a more matured way & you may also feel that is getting reflected in my blog posts. J
These days, as i am based in Beijing, i planned to invest my time in watching an Indian epic. Luckily, out of loads of Epics from India, I was very enthralled & excited to watch RAMAYAN- STORY OF RAMA. There were reasons to this enthusiasm- First (1), This epical story used to get broadcasted on National television in India when I was around Six, so, I had some memories but not very clear attached to it. People used to sit together over the weekend waiting for this 30 mins series to start. They used to pray infront of TV. No more memories except this. Second (2), Since I get to an age of 20’s my father always used to say “I want you to be Like Rama” & being lack of knowledge about this epical Character I used to always say “I cant be! I am not that old fashioned & I cant do what he did. Its not practical or time has changed. bla bla..”
Interestingly, I happened to read the entire Ramayana when I was in college. It always gave me some internal power which is difficult to express in words, can only be felt especially at times when I used to feel lack of mental peace, alone, broken. Even by reading I was not able to absorb the essence of this story as I completed it in breaks in almost 6 years. J Also, being in India, whenever you will open TV, you will have loads of program running so you will rarely open DVD collection of this great story. Possibly, God has destined right time for everything & for me it was when I am in Beijing.
I started watching this story with my spouse daily for 1 hour or sometime 2 hours in evening. Slowly, I started having a different feeling about same story. Even though I have just finished one quarter of it, I could see same Rama- as a man of Characteristics, words, who knows his boundaries. He is the person who did not think for a second to the wish or promises of this parents (father) made to someone. He happily went for exile of 14 years because his father had given words to one of her mother. I felt, was or is it difficult to do same for my father? Answer obviously was YES! But apparently when you see the delight that we can give to our parents by ASSURING THEM THAT WE ARE THE ONE WHO CAN BE BEHIND THEIR WORDS NO MATTER WHAT EVER COULD HAPPEN, THEN WORLD FOR THEM WOULD BE DIFFERENT. They will be in special planet of contentment. I did same & found the result in front of me. Over webcam, I could see tears in my father’s eyes out of happiness. For years, he was waiting to listen this & its coming now. Seeing this practically, my very first reaction was “Oh My God! What I did in past? Why did you take so long to get me this wisdom? (I should have seen this when I was 21.)Why I couldn’t give this happiness to my parents earlier?” Answer to all those questions is probably same- NO ONE GETS ANYTHING BEFORE TIME & MORE THAN DESTINED.
Learning from this Grand Epical, I feel every human being has a Rama inside its just getting to know him & his potential. What he can do once awaken within you?
I know it will be exaggerated the moment I will say I have awoked my inherent Rama but nevertheless its true that I have promised myself that I will strive to bring my Rama in Practical world (my daily practices) from Great Indian Epic- Ramayan!
On 16th Feb, 2010, We completed 1 year together officially. :) So far, this is the most beautiful time of our life.. We were just sitting together & was trying to recollect our memories of this whole last 1 year & we kept on sinking with various days activities, be it Official honeymoon, daily office, fun at relatives places, Rodies trip etc.. The best part was that since last 7 months we were in a transitioning mode from India to Beijing. And even being so hectic schedule & stressed out we did not forgot to capture various moments of life which now was very helpful for us to revive those uncherished moments.
While thinking all this, we thought why not to create a video that in few minutes can help us go through whole one year any number of times.. so, we built a video.. that now we thought to share with you to let you also feel the LOVE IN AIR...
We want to cherish these moments for life long & wish to have loads of such moments in future.
One of such incident happened with me some 5 months back when i got married. :) The way i used to think & live has totally changed over these last 5 months. People may call this as responsibility but i doubt its only responsibility. Its about being 2in1. Now i have started feeling that i am not only me but its about us. You starts taking major decision for coming decade & starts getting higher expectations from your family members & relatives. Its really a different but awesome phase of life. On the other hand, you get so much used to someone that once he/she is away for even few days that seems to be quite a lot. You miss that special person every single second of your life be it small things like getting up in morning, or waiving hand before going to office or reaching back to home in the evening.
Hello Friends- Writing after quite long time. Had lot of happening things in past few months so couldnt able to manage time for this interesting stuff. Have you ever observed Unconscious preferences in your life? Ok, let me elaborate it a bit more. We unknowingly tends to get used to few things which we always do in similar manner. Let me give you some examples- 1. When ever you get to breakfast table, if you have to pick plate & spoon on your own from a chunk of different plate & spoon, you will notice that daily you will have that plate & spoon for your breakfast. If somehow one day you dint get it, you will feel unknowingly a bit uneasy. There is not change in peformance or usability of plate or spoon but you are used to give preference to that special type of plate & spoon so this time new one is creating an un-easiness in you. 2. In your office if you go to rest room, you will always go to a particular urinals or loo. Not only that when you have to wash your hands, again you will unconsciously give preference to a particular basin only. Changing these will create un-easy environment for you. (Atleast i have observed them! :)) 3. While driving home, you will always take a particular prefered route, doesnt matter its long or short. You will rarely try to do some changes with it untill you had some bad experience of traffic or others on that route. Isnt that strange? Have you ever observed such silly stuffs around your where you will create your own preferences over others & in day to day life you wont even observe them because you do that thing in that manner always so ever bothered to think on that.. Am i right?
If so, I am happy to hear few of such unconscious preference examples from you.
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